Feb 3 Missing Home

I miss home.

We were on the boat today, floating on a large channel, in the mangrove estuary. we moved at a decent pace, passing by mangroves after mangroves. i stared out the window, and somehow my mind drifts.

Last night we were at a resort, at the edge of this town east of Ho Chi Minh City. There was a saltwater pool with a hang-glider, and a chlorine pool. And the rooms were huge. And the beach was right at the edge. There was a fabulous open restaurant with christmas lights. I keep thinking about how beautiful the place it, how cool the breeze. I definitely plan on coming back there. hahahha.

Sitting at the restaurant, it was definitely different than the day. The day was hot and humid and just blasting heat. We went to a salt farm, learned that salt was actually more profitable and helpful for the family than shrimp farming, which required a lot of expenses, whereas the salt was practically free, from the salt water nearby. The shrimp is grown in the wet seasons, to past the time until they can dry the salt water to make salt again.

we planted mangrove trees. walked around mangrove forests. we saw the previous mangrove trees that were platned by the previous SIT students. mangroves are pretty amazing. nto only do they look cool, they also are great for biodiversity and maintaining the nutrients in the soil, maintaining the coastline. mangroves grow in the estuaries, where the salt water meets the freshwater. they grow in brackish water and provide food and shelters for endless numbers of animals. andthey keep the coastal lands from being washed away. without them, viet nam would be at a lost. and the preserve we visited has been 90% replanted, since the war tore and destroyed all the leftover natural mangroves. it's impressive the progress the forest has made in the past 30 years.

sitting on the boat as it skimms past, the wind blowing and cooling my face, i miss home. i wish i can bottle that feeling of home, of friends and family and familiar faces and surroundings and take it out every time i need it.

i have doubts and loneliness, even though i'm constantly surrounded by people, everyday at most moments of the day. loneliness can feel more pronounced when there are people around, and the people don't seem to understand me.

it feels like most kids here don't really care for me or about me. they only talk to me when they have a question regarding translation, pronunciation, or meaning of a vietnamese word. i explain so much to them and they always forget. yet i have the attitude of so long as my position in the group is minimally neutral, if not in the least bit positive, it does not matter what i do. so i only answer when i am asked, and every time i speak, i feel like they aren't listening, so i don't really make contributing conversations. eh. my trip here is not necessarily dependent on them. the vietnamese people and vietnamese friends are much more important. so little time, so much to do and so many people to meet. i haven't even done all the emails i'm supposed to send out and read.