Finding Inspirations

Feb 15th Can Tho

2008-02-15T08:12:00.001-08:00

hi!

I'm in Can Tho, the city right next to my dad's hometown, Vinh Long. I am in the Mekong Delta, the great and fertile area where the majority of Vietnam's food are grown from. I miss home lots. Thinking a lot about home as per usual.

I'm making some headway on my research project, but still the topic is so broad. I am not sure where and how to be more specific. I made a few contacts, but most of them are in Sai Gon and I'm still in Can Tho. It's sorta crazy how just when i'm beginning to make some contacts and build relationships, we are on the move to a different area, so it makes it hard for me to build anything long-term. Though I must say, every person I have met have been so nice and amiable. No one talks shit about my hair. Everyone laughs nervously or happily, when they talk to me. I'm actually having a great time, getting adjusted to myself here in this space, this environment, this air.

I'm thinking about things here now. my mind is beginning to focus on here, I think it's finally hitting me that I am HERE, in Vietnam, doing the things that I am doing. We are constantly learning and constantly being challenged, being introduced to new topics, new ideas, new findings about Viet Nam. I think I'm realizing that this program is awesome. I'm learning things about Viet Nam that I never learned before, and I would not have learned if it was not for the contacts and connections and collections of readings this program is providing for me. We meet such awesome professors, everyone experts of their fields, each one full of specific knowledge and love for Viet Nam. These professors have all studied abroad, have gotten a taste of abroad, and have all decided to come back and teach, to learn, to research, to contribute to the country that they love. Everyone here is really inspiring, especially the professors and students. The students have been friendly and funny, making conversations with me.

Today, my language teacher was different than my other ones. And he was harder, more challenging. I realize how little I actually know, and I realize how much more studying i will have to keep doing, to remember those vocabulary words that I was taught. I enjoy my vietnamese lessons, sometimes challenging, sometimes too easy, but in its easiness, i learned how much i know, and in the hardness, i am humbled and realize how much i don't know, and realize how much more there is to know, and that thought is exciting. I'm excited for my learning experiences, quite literally, studying abroad is all about the experiences.

We were talking about soil today, especially the soil composition and history of the Mekong Delta. The Mekong is special, it has all these rich silts and sediments from upstream, where the river starts in Nepal and runs through Myanmar, Laos, Thailand, and Cambodia. Mekong has a different name in each country, but it is the connector and relates so many countries and cultures to each other. It's pretty durn amazing. Anyways, we dug out some soil samples from the nearby field, and saw firsthand the soil types that are in the area, and did some ph tests, and saw the acidity levels. I learned about pyrites, iron-sulfate, and how it is not good for growing crops and how it was made from mangrove forests. Very fun, today's lesson was a talk about the environment, a little about hte culture, a lot about the geological history of Viet Nam.

Yesterday we learned about the culture of Viet Nam, and the professor brought in musicians, some of his friends who play traditional instruments, and have them played for us samples of music from different regions. the lesson made me cry, cause some of the songs reminded me so much of Viet Nam, of the overwhelming and amazing feelings of Vietnamese-ness, that it made me fill with joy and emotions. Having lessons about Vietnamese history and environmental and developmental concerns, about anything and everything Vietnam, and it feels DAMN AMAZING. I've never had history lessons about VIet Nam, never had lessons about Vietnamese poetry, and was never taught in Vietnamese (in the states).

Viet Nam is amazing, no doubt. And I am so glad i am learning about it. The more i learn about it, the more professors I get to meet and learn from, the more connected I feel to Viet Nam, to its people, to myself. I feel better now, getting more settled, getting excited about my independent study project on art. though i am not sure exactly what my topic is, i know that it will be related to contemporary art in Viet Nam, and I know I will give my all to it, and I know it will be awesome. well, it will at least be decently interesting, if not well-written. ;O) I'm excited for the future, though i have my fears and apprehensions, i feel more ready than ever to meet them. i feel hopeful, I feel more myself, I feel a lot better than I did before.

Hopefullly these feelings are not empty promises. hopefully they will come true.

I am using the computer and internet of my host family in Can Tho. Thuy, my host-sister, is really sweet and smart. I like her a lot, and I look forward to getting to know her much, much better. Even though I have a slight cold or a slight allergy reaction to the air here, coughing a lot of dry coughs and speaking with a slightly raspy voice, I feel that I have been very well taken care of. Now i just need to take care of myself better. ;O)

Feb 12 Art

2008-02-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

In some free moments, I am excited and scared, but mostly excited, about the possibilities for learning and experiencing in Viet Nam. Art has been rare in the conversations in our classes and lectures and visits, but it's okay. I know I have to work hard for what I want. And even if art is a small niche, and art will not be taught in the classroom, I will use what i learned and use what networks i have to teach myself. art is the thing i came to viet nam for, and art is what i will find out and learn about. !

we are headign to the Mekong Delta for the next two weeks. we should be staying in a city, but no guarantee that i will have regular internet.

Feb 10 Da Lat Updates

2008-02-15T07:57:00.000-08:00

02/10/08, 8:07 pm, at the 1B pnt guesthouse

The past few days in Da Lat have been amazing and tiring, and strange, at times. ;O)

There was no internet the past few days cause everything was closed cause of the Vietnamese New Year. On Wednesday, we all met up and took the cab to the place where we took the bus to Da Lat. Da Lat is about taking about 6-7 hours to get there. We had no time to get to an internet place in the four days that I was in Da Lat because we were so busy doing thing after thing.

So the trip to Da Lat wasn't so bad. The seats were practically lazy-boys. They lean back really far and they are really roomy. I sat all the way in the back, which was not the best idea since we were jostled and tossed the whole way there. The roads were curvy, hugging the sides of mountains, and the driver kept honking at the people on the motorbikes and was going at ridiculous speeds. So every time there was a turn or a bump, I could feel it. I tried to read the articles we were assigned to read and it took some efforts but I finally got the 40 pages of reading done, in the 4 hours of the ride. Hahaha. I slept most of the way there. With regular rest stops, I was able to drink plenty and still pee comfortably.

When we got to Da Lat, we met up with our homestay families and the 15 of us split into 5 groups of 3 to stay with a homestay. The homestay mom's name is Tram and the father is Son. The mom is an English teacher, about 37 years old. The father is an architecture; he designed the house that we lived in. The house was very neat, very clean, very minimal. One room on the first floor for the one boy in our group, Jason. And for Abby and me a room upstairs. The view upstairs was really nice; we got a great view of the valley and the surrounding areas that is Da Lat. The family has two daughters, one 10 years old and one is 5. They are both so cute. The older one is just like her mom, so mature and so intelligent. The younger one is really girly, flighty, and with the charms that can wrap boys around her fingers. The older one has a sort of slight awkwardness, but so honest and so caring that it's really endearing. She's always asking about where we are going, what we plan to do, she tries to explain things about the house to us, and she is always asking how are we doing and have we eaten.

The first night, our host-most made us rice with chicken broth, which was delicious! We helped her by picking the vegetables. Our host dad has a little sunroom in the back, open to the air and to the view. He raises birds as a hobby, and he has some really pretty and beautifully sounding ones. My favorite one is the little one with the red body.

Picking vegetables, I shared with Jason and Abby about my life. They also offered me tidbits about their lives. I realize people are fine talking to me when we are in small groups. They ask questions and share things about themselves I would not get otherwise. But in the larger group, people would prefer to hang out with anyone else but me. But it's understandable; people prefer to hang out with people they can most relate to. And there's nothing to blame them if they feel more comfort with others, and can relate to them better. I learned many things during the trip in Da Lat. I will get to them later.

I think the main lesson is that I accept the situation. I don't feel bad that people don't want to sit next to me on the bus or that people don't try to sit with me during lunch or dinner, or walk next to me when we walk around anywhere as a group. I have come to accept it. One, I realize I may be just a little tad sensitive. And if I really wanted them to like me, I would have made the efforts. So it's not that I am disliked by anyone, I am just not preferred. And for me to want to be preferred, I have to make the effort in liking them first. So yeah, it's not other people not liking me or avoiding me, it's really that I have been the one giving off the vibes. I feel that the people that I like, they have liked me and appreciated my company in return. I realize that often times, I put off the vibes that I like being alone, sitting alone. I should be okay with that. :O) I notice I get along best with the colored kids; there's nothing wrong with hanging with the people we're are most comfortable with.

There is one girl, Von, the Vietnamese girl who was adopted by white parents when she was seven and moved to the states. She lives in New Hampshire. We actually get along pretty well together. I really would like to be closer friends with her, but I think she is still wary of me for some reason. I don't know. I should figure that out before we leave the program. Hmm….. I think there are many things I can learn from her and hopefully there are a few things she can benefit from me too.

Making friends is such a sensitive task. It takes a lot of effort to listen, look, observe, and give. Hahhaha. Gosh! So much work!

Okay, so after dinner on Wednesday, the host-mom and her friend took the three of us to the local Tet (Vietnamese New Year) fair. It was really loud. There were men who cross-dressed and did the announcements for various lotteries. The different booths had different games and the prizes were beer, packaged food, or soda cans. It's really odd what is considered wanted goods. But it is understandable the sort of prizes offered….each stall is ran by people who are trying to make money and the prizes were things that were accessible, and things that they probably already have in their shops and they wanted to do the carnival as another way to make money fast.

Anyways, out of all the stalls, there was one where you can make a card with sand. They basically have the design for you and you can peel each section and put colored sand on it. I did that one cause I have never seen it before, and that little art project made me happy. I got one for William and one for Monica.

Thursday morning, we woke up a little late, so we did not get to visit the relatives with the family. We went instead to the temple and then had lunch, a special noodle dish our mom made. And then we walked to meet our group at the hotel our prof was staying at. From there, we made our way to the Bamboo Grove Monastery. It was a meditation retreat place. And the head abbot talked to us about meditation for two hours. We were also given a special behind the scenes tour. We got to see the inside section, where the monks and nuns lived, that most visitors do not get to see, unless they have special permission. Even our tour guide, in all the years that he worked as a tour guide, did not before get that treat. Walking around, the place was just magnificent. We learned a lot about Vietnam's history with Buddhism and about meditation. We also received a complementary copy of the English book on meditation that the head abbot wrote. It was an awesome trip, surrounded by the most beautiful sights of mountains, pines, and fog that you can ever imagine.

I love Da Lat because the weather is cooler. It's so cool that it always gets me sick everytime I go there, because it is such an extreme change from the warm to cool that it puts my body in shock. This time around, I also got sick. I got a sore throat before I got to Da Lat and I slammed it with Vitamin C, but it wasn't enough.

Friday, we visited the Da Lat University and learned some things about the higher education in Viet Nam. We walked a little around campus, grabbed lunch at a local restaurant, and went to this local café, called "Stop & Go," which was owned by a person who is a brother of one of the fathers of our of our homestay families (not my family, another group's family). He is an awesome artist, totally crazy and typical artist. Very Bohemian. Very French-Vietnamese. He writes amazing poems, in French, English, and Vietnamese. And his English is amazing. He writes the poetry in the fancified calligraphy art form, where each letter has its own special mark, and each letter is an image in its own right. I bought one that talked about the guitar…I couldn't help it. Speaking to the guitar, the artist said,

"Guitar,
You do not sing to me
Your strings are silent
I want to play you
like my lover
I want to live
all my life
You give me sound
I give you life
I keep playing you
And you keep me alive"

I think coming home would be so amazing! I'd be a different, better, more whole sort of person. I would be so relieved, and revived. Just like leaving D.C. I know I will come home feeling like I learned a lot about the world, about myself. Coming home to Chicago, it won't be just so that I am coming home to William and to my parents….I'd like the opportunity to make Chicago my own home, too.... again.

Friday night, we finally had some free time and so I got to visit my cousin. It was the first time and the only time I will be able to see her on this trip. She was busy with a tour coming by to Da Lat, since it's Tet time, everyone is traveling with their family. She says that typically, they aren't that busy. But I figured, being busy some times is better than not being busy at all. She was helping her customers (there were some confusion with the number of rooms booked and a problem with the smell in one of the rooms) but eventually they figured things out. I sat there and wrote in my journal, did one of my assignments. And I was glad to just eat dinner that she cooked and sit with her at the front desk, me doing my organizing in my notebook, and her doing her paperwork. I would have liked to sit with her longer, but it's okay.

I came home and we packed for the Saturday trip.

Saturday, there is a 23-km trekking trip planned, and a gong ceremony after that. When I heard trekking, I didn't think anything about it. I thought we were going just a few kilometers, well, I was wrong. Hahhahah.

The saturday trip is at Lang Biang, a section of mountains with a name that reminds us of a romeo and Juliet story. Lang is the boy and Biang is a girl, each from an opposing tribe. One is richer and one is poorer. The tribes are enemies and they were not allowed to love. Anyways, we climbed both the Lang peak, the Biang peak, and the third peak with is supposedly their children. The trekking was not really trekking, it was more like hiking. We did three kilometers of really steep hiking. And then we hit the pine trail, and then we hit this tiny trail that makes us go only one at a time, surrounded by young rain forest and there were times where we practically had to get on all four to get up the steps because they were so slippery with mud and fallen leaves. I only had flip flops and I often had to just walk barefoot because I couldn't get a grip with the flip flop. I didn't make the worst time since there were a few people behind me. I stuck around with the slower people, and they were much more enjoyable company. All the active, athletic kids went in the front, and the guide kept staying back to help and make sure my prof is okay. She went along with us on the 23-km trek!!

The guide is actually this 26-year-old woman who is a quarter French with light brown eyes. She has one hell of a fierce attitude and a determination I highly respect. Losing her parents 10 years ago, she was forced to take care of herself for the past 7 years. She had to work and put herself through school and now she works as a guide because she likes the hiking and being in the forests. She sees the cuts on my arm and she says, "I must give it to you, you have my props. I understand your feelings, but I don't have the guts to cut myself. I almost jumped a bridge and committed suicide, but when it came down to it, I couldn't do it. I decided to stay alive and to keep fighting." So that's what she's been doing. Along with her as our guide, there were three other people who helped keep our group together.

Climbing up was hard on the body. Going down was dangerous and slippery. So each try was just as time-consuming as the other. Getting to the first peak was amazing, the view was out of this world. It felt like I was on top of the world. I kept thinking that i'd like to come back.

By the third peak, there were super tourism there. I bought a wallet from this woman who was from the area. She is of one of the minority ethnic group, and they are the poorest of the poor. She tells me it takes a whole week for her to weave the wallet that costs customers 25000 dong, which is about $1.50. And it takes about a month for her to sell one. Crazy how little they make and crazy how much more work it takes for them to just survive. They live two hours away, and to carry their wares, they have to hire a motorbike person to help them. They make the trek everyday by foot to reach the market and hope to sell something. They learned to weave since they were three, from their mother. I looked at what the weaving were doing and I commended them, I couldn't figure out the math stuffs, it just takes too much calculating. Feeling bad, I also bought another wallet from the woman next to the woman I was talking to. They were so open about the stories of their lives; I felt guilty. I also wished them a healthy and hearty new year. They were so nice; they wished for successes in my studies.

Coming back from the hike, we went to the longhouse that the local people used for celebrations and ceremonies. We ate there and also slept there. I drank about two shots of the local brew and had a little more of the communal wine. Somehow, not surprisingly, my heart was beating like it was about to explode out of my chest and I started having the chills, shivering and aching for warmth, gasping for breath. I knew I was gonna get sick, but I always forget how sick I can get. Fortunately, the tour guide was there with me the whole time. She laid my head on her lap and made sure I stayed warm.

When the party and dancing was over, people brought out the mattresses and blankets and made the bed for us to all sleep in the common longhouse. She brought me by the fire in the middle and made sure I sat there to get warm. I was barely cognizant, feeling a little more awake, but scared to move because my head was swimming around. Laying down to bed, I wanted to sleep right away but I was still feeling cold. She laid down with me and gave me her arm to sleep on. I felt lucky, that she gave me comfort and support all night, when none of the other people in my group would have. They would have asked me how I was doing, but none would go all the way as to hold me and made sure I was okay.

So Saturday night leads to Sunday morning, when we all headed tiredly, crankily, and grouchily onto the bus. The bus ride back to the city was just as long and tedious but there was definitely less honking, but just as much, if not more stop-and-go and getting tossed about on the bus. Getting back from the bus stop to the guesthouse took a while, but eventually, we got back. I showered and went looking for the internet café but unfortunately, none was opened. So I sat for the past couple of hours and wrote.

and here i am. feeling overwhelmed, lost, scared that i don't know what to do for my independent study project.

Feb 4 HCMC friends and Vietnamese lessons

2008-02-15T07:55:00.000-08:00

i am sitting at the internet cafe, having lunch with my group.

yesterday, i went out with the architecture friend I met in Hong Kong. He took me to a good hot pot place, with this little fish. it was new and fabulously delicious. i had half a bottle of Heineken and i definitely felt the effects, though i did not get sick cause i did get to eat before we drank. i got my dried cuttlefish, and hanging out with him. he told me stories about his days in architecture school in viet nam. and he also told me stories about his living in Ohio. He's in Cleveland, i believe, for the past six years. he got to go to the u.s. with a student visa. i'm so glad i met him, he's given me a lot of knowledge about growing up in vietnam, and he can relate to me about not feeling quite at home in viet nam now that he's been living in the states for the past six years. he feels like is he returning home to visit, but viet nam is not quite a home. it's interesting, that he feels what he feels even though he's been in the states for only six years.

and i was also supposed to meet with my artist friends, the vietnamese calligraphers, for a coffee shop hangout, but i came back late. i should be hanging out with them tonight. hanging out with vietnamese friends make me feel invigorated. as long as i get my vietnamese firends at night, i can enjoy hanging with my american group during the day. we had another vietnamese lesson today, and i realize how much more i don't know. so i am glad for hte basics, to know the more correct and formal way to speak, respond, and put sentences together.

i enjoy it a lot. it's weird, and makes me so proud to have vietnamese be taught in the classroom. even in california, at Pomona college, everytime we have a vietnamese speaker, i would always be crying out of sentimental feelings, overwhelmed with feelings of home and missing home, yet so excited that vietnamese culture and cultural products are in my vicinity. so hearing vietnaemse being taught makes me really proud, overwhelmed with good feelings.

my food is here. so i will eat and write more later. one day i should sit down and post on my blog, let people see some of the sights. :O)

Feb 3 Missing Home

2008-02-15T07:45:00.000-08:00

I miss home.

We were on the boat today, floating on a large channel, in the mangrove estuary. we moved at a decent pace, passing by mangroves after mangroves. i stared out the window, and somehow my mind drifts.

Last night we were at a resort, at the edge of this town east of Ho Chi Minh City. There was a saltwater pool with a hang-glider, and a chlorine pool. And the rooms were huge. And the beach was right at the edge. There was a fabulous open restaurant with christmas lights. I keep thinking about how beautiful the place it, how cool the breeze. I definitely plan on coming back there. hahahha.

Sitting at the restaurant, it was definitely different than the day. The day was hot and humid and just blasting heat. We went to a salt farm, learned that salt was actually more profitable and helpful for the family than shrimp farming, which required a lot of expenses, whereas the salt was practically free, from the salt water nearby. The shrimp is grown in the wet seasons, to past the time until they can dry the salt water to make salt again.

we planted mangrove trees. walked around mangrove forests. we saw the previous mangrove trees that were platned by the previous SIT students. mangroves are pretty amazing. nto only do they look cool, they also are great for biodiversity and maintaining the nutrients in the soil, maintaining the coastline. mangroves grow in the estuaries, where the salt water meets the freshwater. they grow in brackish water and provide food and shelters for endless numbers of animals. andthey keep the coastal lands from being washed away. without them, viet nam would be at a lost. and the preserve we visited has been 90% replanted, since the war tore and destroyed all the leftover natural mangroves. it's impressive the progress the forest has made in the past 30 years.

sitting on the boat as it skimms past, the wind blowing and cooling my face, i miss home. i wish i can bottle that feeling of home, of friends and family and familiar faces and surroundings and take it out every time i need it.

i have doubts and loneliness, even though i'm constantly surrounded by people, everyday at most moments of the day. loneliness can feel more pronounced when there are people around, and the people don't seem to understand me.

it feels like most kids here don't really care for me or about me. they only talk to me when they have a question regarding translation, pronunciation, or meaning of a vietnamese word. i explain so much to them and they always forget. yet i have the attitude of so long as my position in the group is minimally neutral, if not in the least bit positive, it does not matter what i do. so i only answer when i am asked, and every time i speak, i feel like they aren't listening, so i don't really make contributing conversations. eh. my trip here is not necessarily dependent on them. the vietnamese people and vietnamese friends are much more important. so little time, so much to do and so many people to meet. i haven't even done all the emails i'm supposed to send out and read.

February 1st Guesthouse and Youth Center

2008-02-15T07:35:00.000-08:00

oh, i got my cell working. you can call me anytime. 84-0978564802 calling from the internet or you can go to argyle and get a phone card or something. but i think calling from the internet is cheapest. i believe i can call from the internet place across the street from the guesthouse where i am staying at, using their internet calling phone thing for practically nothing, nothing at all. an hour of calling equals an hour of internet which equals about 4.000 dong, which equals to about 25cents. it's pretty awesome.

the guesthouse is a function of the Foreign Affairs office. So it's pretty safe and sweet living here. Though they do not have the wireless internet which they had previously advertised. I will only be staying here a few days, to a couple of weeks at a time, since every two weeks, we are traveling to a different part of the country for two weeks. crazy how our schedule is.

across the street from the guesthouse is the Youth Center, always filled with activities. Especially during this time of the year, Tet. I recently discovered that there is wireless at the youth center, so i will now bring my computer over there more often. There is a festival and loud music pretty everyday for like 10 days straight there. there are guys sitting out front on the sidewalk, with their wares, writing vietnamese calligraphy, called "thu-phap". They are mostly young guys, with a few professional artists as well. There was no girl sitting out front. There were girls helping, but none, maybe one, was sitting with her own stall, to represent and show off her talents. Maybe girls aren't supposed to sit out in public like that? I don't know. I'm sure there are plenty of talented young women out there, I just have not met them yet. I made a couple of artists friends and they are awesome and amazingly nice, talented people. it;s nice to past my friends when i go by to go the internet. i think i made an acquaintance, and i am glad for it. :O)

i'm finally getting adjusted here. i can walk the streets, figure out where i'm going, figure out where some of the neighborhoods are. i don't feel completely lost or so vulnerable when i am by myself. i think that is an extremely important step, where i feel comfortable walking by myself, which i never did feel before. i feel more comfortable shopping; though i know people are still charging me higher prices, i don't mind spend the extra fifty cents or so.

i enjoy class. the economics classes are going to be really challenging things, but the rest of the readings are interesting and relevant, thought written in a pretty general way about vietnam's history and complicated nuances.

i hung out with my aunt today, running errands, getting my phone unlocked, getting a book bag, stopping by her neighborhood to hang out and grab some things. sometimes i still question if i can do this, and if i have the strength, and then i realize i do. i want to do this for myself. i am determined to build a network here and to make an awesome independent study project, and to make people love me so much they want to be my friend. i am going to impress people so much, they would want to hire me! ;O) hahahhaha.

i am heading out to the mangrove forests to the southeast of Sai Gon for saturday and sunday, so for the next two days i might not have internet. i will try to get internet as soon as i can, but it will probably be at least a day and a half before i can gt back to the city and to normal internet usage.

i realize something. i realize i put a lot of efforts into things and people i am passionate about, that i take personally, that have personal meaning. art and Viet Nam are personal to me.

viet nam has a strange impact on me. i feel energetic. and when i am tired, i am not tired out of boredom. i am tired out of a good day of activity and adventures. truly. i feel good everyday. i wake up early. i shower. i brush my teeth. i feel tired and cranky, but then i feel good again. i learn, i get excited, i doubt. i go through a whole cycle of feeilngs, which tells me my mind and myself is constantly wake and stimulated, invigorated. i look forward to the rest of the semester. and with the more hope i have, the more doubt i also have. but that is okay, doubt will make me keep working hard.

i enjoy it here. and as always, i wish i can show it all to you.

January 31st Roommates in HCMC

2008-02-15T07:33:00.000-08:00

I have settled into the guesthouse with two other roommates. Both are
really nice and awesome. We are in orientation now. Classes start on
Monday. We will be traveling a lot in the three regions of Viet Nam
and we will be spending a lot of time learning in the field. My first
order of business is to stay awake, stay aware, and stay true, to
myself, to those around me.

Free WiFi at Hong Kong International Airport

2008-01-28T04:58:00.000-08:00

It's about 8pm over here, and only 6am over in Chicago. I'm writing this from Hong Kong International Airport. Yay FREE WiFi! Our flight from Chicago was delayed a good hour. So we arrived about an hour and some 15 minutes late to Hong Kong. The flight got moved to 10pm! I was supposed to get in at 10:20, now we won't get in until 11 something. My poor aunt will have to wait for me! oh no! It's so late for her; and there are so many businesses to take care of. Rargh.

The flight consisted of lots of sleeping and eating. Everything was very regulated, uneventful. I did get to pee a couple of times, but the air was so dry that all the water I drank, which was minimal compared to what I usually drink, was used over and over again by my body.

I wrote some on my journal, I read some. I can't believe I went through the whole SIT handbook, and I also read the article I was supposed to read on Viet Nam.

I've never seen so many Vietnamese American people!!!!! Everyone is so....Vietnamese. It's strange for me. New feelings, all new feelings I haven't felt in such a long time. I don't know what exactly they are. Something akin to a feeling of home, yet a confusion, a strangeness, a guilt that I don't quite fit in? But everyone I've met so far has been really nice. I got the window seat and the couple to the left of me are interesting. The husband drank beer at every meal. Beer! We had some really non-palatable food. The meatloaf and mashed potatoes are okay but the pasta was a drag...tasteless and quite uncooked. :O( But....something made me happy....Instant "Chinese Noodles!" with a SPORK!!!! I haven't seen a spork since, well, elementary school! It's so awesome! I'm amaze at how the spork can make me happy! :O)

Goddamn. Strange traveling by myself. I need to get used to this. It feels odd yet freeing and liberating.

The older women sitting around me as we wait for our delayed flight discussed babies, raising them, and dau xanh (green oil, literally) The green oil is literally a green looking oil ointment, usually smells like mint and eucalyptus. It's like the cure-all used by pretty much all women. When I have a cold, my mom would use that oil and rub my back with a coin, in these lines that resemble a ribcage. It hurts as my skin gets scratched by scratching the skin opens up the pores, let the oil sink in, and the oil warms my back. I usually feel a lot better from the coining treatment. Knowing me and my liking for some pain, it's sorta understandable that I sometimes think it addicting, and would want it. Part of it is the pain and the tingles and the warm feeling, a lot of it is because I DO feel better after it.

Oh, man, this feeling. I feel all self-conscious. I don't want to offend anyone. I do want to talk to people, but I feel all awkward. I guess that awkward feeling is natural, it's part of being young and unmarried. Everyone else that is comfortable talking to everyone else is married somehow, old or young. The connecting line is family.

Everyone talks to everyone else, complete strangers but connected through the flight to Viet Nam. Everyone may have their own reasons for going to Viet Nam, but mainly it is for family, for the self, for cultural identity and connections. Topics I hear people talking about:
-Babies: raising babies, boy or girl, comments on babies' personalities, if they are easy or troublesome
-Livelihood: what sort of jobs they do to live on
-Home: where they live in the States (Michigan, Kansas, Missouri, New York, Chicago) where their families are in Viet Nam, where
they are going after landing in Tan Son Nhat, the airport in Sai Gon
-Luggages: what to pack, how to pack, how much to pack, carry-on or checked bags
-Dau Xanh: the woman who sat next to me on the plane, I decided to sit by her in the Hong Kong waiting area. She bought a boxful of
dau xanh to gift to family, because it is a wanted commodity. Other, older women around us heard of the purchase, said it was
expensive. "In America, it was only $37. You bought it for $43? That's expensive!"
-Health: what hurts the head, sitting makes the legs cramped, too much sitting
-Prices of Gifts: many people buy alcohol and cigarettes as gifts, often cause they're tax-free at the airports. But since they
rechecked our luggages after getting off the plane in Hong Kong to enter the Hong Kong airport, many people who bought alcohol
before lost their bottles. And since the prices here in Hong Kong are so extravagant (sampled by a woman who said that she bought
a bottle of lotion for a few dollars in the states and it is $11 USD in Hong Kong), and that large quantities of liquid are not allowed on
the plane, many decided to put off buying wine until Viet Nam.

Overall perceived atmosphere: anxious and excited to get home and see family; tired from the long travels and irritated that we've been delayed. Overall, I think everyone is in a generally good mood, patient, understanding. Even in crowds, I've seen people being very warm and patient, even with the delays. I guess it's because the airport people have power over us, deciding if we can pass or not, and that going home, getting to Viet Nam is the most important thing, there has been no outcry or outburst of frustration. I guess everyone has a sort of "eh, it happens" sorta attitude. I see where I've learned it from. I enjoy sitting here and hearing snippets of conversations.

I have to say, so many of the young women are so pretty. I'm jealous! They're so pretty and petite. I wonder what I must look like to them, a mess, I'm sure! :O) me and my red hair and red dress, my funny flowery tights, my ridiculously loud jacket.

Oooh, new update: the woman to the left of me knows someone who is a flight attendant, a very well dressed man with a fancy watch. He's gonna bump her to business class if there are seats available. Nice! I'm glad for them! I share in the moment too, cause they're the only people I'm semi-familiar with. He's her nephew. Yay for her!

Maybe I should stop being so scared, maybe people aren't so critical afterall. Yeah, some aren't, and some still are. I'm afraid of the older, older women, the ones that can be my great-aunt. Yeah, they're scary cause they got a lot of woman-power over me. They demand my respect, and they have it, they also my fear that I would be disrespecting them if I say the wrong thing. I guess I'm mainly afraid of offending people, that's why I am reluctant to say anything or do anything. But I shouldn't be afraid. I should just talk and smile, and be humble, and things will be okay. :O) Be comfortable with yourself, Hai Minh. It's all good in the hood! ;O) hahhaha.

I should end this now. I think we are boarding soon, and I have to use the bathroom. It's gonna be a full flight.

Ooooh! I'm excited and nervous. My stomach is a wreck!

Is America Ready for a Woman President?

2007-10-22T13:19:00.001-07:00

This is truly genius. I am iterating the obvious when I call the Daily Show genius. Here's something to think about:

Unity Dorm Love

2007-08-07T19:12:00.000-07:00

Name Game

2007-08-07T06:16:00.000-07:00

heeheehee. it's my name.